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Saturday, March 16, 2013

Peace at last.

I've know this day was coming for weeks. But when it finally came, I had no idea what to expect.

The ex-wife, the one whom for much of our eleven year marriage, was unbearable for her and for me, sent me a change of address. She sent the change of address in, of all things, a Christmas card. Ironic, since the change of address arrived on February 8, one day after I had sent the monthly Spousal Support. Even more ironic was on the return address spot of the card. Not her name, but her and her boyfriend's name, written as if they were man and wife.

A little internet snooping found out that they had gotten engaged less than a month after our divorce was final. Now, mind you, she was so devastated that our marriage had broken up that she proclaimed to all her friends that she would never get married again.

Truthfully, I knew from shortly after our marriage that we were not a good fit. We had a hard time maintaining any conversations, we were too polar opposite. We both rushed into a marriage that was an ill fit, and we rode it down to the dirt, until we could neither one stand to look at one another.

Another major issue was that my wife insisted on an “open marriage”. Which apparently meant that she could date and bed anyone she wanted, and I could also date and bed anyone she wanted. I had no desire to date anyone else, much less feel free enough to submit my proposed dates to my wife for approval.

In and amongst my ex's trysts, she had two miscarriages with partners, and one pregnancy that went to term. The father of that child was a long time high school friend that is now her husband, a man that I respect and appreciate. He treated me well, and when I learned that he and my ex were to marry, I shook my head. Did he know something that her previous four husbands did not?

Apparently so.

I looked at the wedding picture that I found on Facebook and saw happiness in her face, but pure joy in his. In an instant, the bitterness of eleven years of Armageddon were replaced by...peace.

She has found her happiness. And in her happiness, I find my own joy. I can set the ill memories free, and reserve those spots for memories to be made with my new bride.  Better to remember the happy times with previous friends and loves than to dwell on the negativity.  I wish for them all the happiness that she and I could not have.  And I wish for my Pinay and I true joy and happiness.  She fills my heart with light and love.  

Now the monthly rituals in dealing with the ex are finally over. Now I can focus completely on my new life, my travel to Manila this fall, our marriage in Marikina City Hall, and our honeymoon on Subic Bay.
The love of my life, Cheryl, my last wife!

Then...negotiating the tumultuous task that is getting my Filipina Bride into the United States.

My life is, after years of tumult, anger, and hostility, peaceful at last.

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